“Can’t Even” culture is silly, but one of the silliest things I see on social media is people complaining about how other people eat certain foods. Who cares if you pour the cereal or the milk first – do you and leave everyone else alone.
It is one thing to expect someone to chew quietly, keep the table clean, and refrain from belching around guests, but some of us “literally freak out” and “literally cannot even” after seeing something like the following picture:
Stop huffing and puffing: There are many ways to eat a KitKat, and even if the above image does not depict the best way to make the most of your KitKat bar, a KitKat is marketed as a single “bar.”
“…Break me off a piece of that KitKat bar”KitKat jingle
The first part of that quote, along with the technical design of a KitKat result in the common understanding that a KitKat is meant to be broken into 4 separate pieces (or 8 if you have a King Size. . . or 2 if you have a Halloween/snack size) which are then individually consumed.
Still, even the method of eating those individual pieces is up for debate. Take for example the Kourtney Kardashian Method (KKM – with over 3 million views. . . seriously where are people from?):
I tried the KKM, which inspired this post, and I must admit that doing so changed my ways. The candy is more enjoyable, lasts longer, and the consumer has an opportunity to appreciate each of the variety of flavors and textures of a KitKat bar.
At the end of the day; though, a KitKat is simply made to be eaten, and consuming a KitKat bar means that it is fulfilling its destiny.
I might raise an issue if someone throws away a perfectly good KitKat bar. They are a wonderful candy and, as far as I recall, one of the few made without high fructose corn syrup (give me that real sugar, baby!). As long as someone is eating it; however, I am not going to raise a fuss. Different people enjoy KitKats in different ways.
Fraternities too have an ultimate destiny, and that is to serve as a family away from home for college students. They do and have always done things families do for family members: Keep them accountable, build them up, help them launch their future, and support them through tough times.
That sounds like a valuable experience on its own, especially for those students without supportive families behind them – so why do we obsess over every minute detail regarding how that family is built? Why do we encourage that fraternities become expensive programming bodies with hired professionals and a laundry list of expectations and functions to complete throughout the year. What family operates in such a robotic, impersonal way?
While working as a Director of Fraternity Growth I would often pitch to potential campus partners that our organization was different – and it is. The vast majority of campus professionals I worked with would emphasize the need for something different at their school, and would warn us that they needed a fraternity that would shock the system.
In almost every case; however, the chapter was expected to do the exact same things as every other chapter on campus immediately after establishment. When my partners said “different,” what they really meant was a fraternity chapter that would do everything asked of them without question to show the other chapters how to obey the checklist.
At this school you are not a fraternity if you don’t participate in the lip sync. At this school you are not a fraternity if you don’t have a house. At this school you are not a fraternity if you don’t at least try to win all of the trophies we offer. . .
Well, what about if students don’t care about those things? By the looks of it, 70% or more of students at most college campuses don’t care about those things. How do we appeal to them? Do we make the lists more complex? Do we further limit and intensify the definition of what specific things need to be completed in order to be a “fraternity”? Would eating KitKats be more enjoyable if we demanded that everyone apply the KKM?
Our laser focus on getting the checklist of leadership just right, zero tolerance, prevents chapters from focusing on things which would allow their members to stand out to find people who would like a family away from home, but are uninterested in vying for trophies and P.R. stunts.
It is a shame that I would be turned down from setting up a chapter at a school because a few chapters were “struggling,” and that the only way for those struggling chapters to be considered successful is if they grew and did everything all of the other chapters were doing.
Many still fail, succumb to debt, or take years to get to where we professionals want them to get, but in reality they could just simplify their expectations, grow to a size they are comfortable with, and be each other’s family.
Within 3 years we forget who won which award, how many hours a chapter completed, what type of event they did, what the banner they hung from their house said or the names of a majority of their members. We encourage students to meet all of the fraternities because the only thing we allow to be different about them is their personalities – everything else is very often the same.
The “right” way to do fraternity (according to most professionals, speakers and umbrella organizations) is repetitive, forgettable, and it distracts students from being creative with their fraternity/sorority experience.
It would be wonderful if we would allow more students to enjoy their
KitKats fraternity experience in a way which suits their passion. Not everyone should be required to subscribe to the KKM checklist leadership in order to eat their KitKat have a family away from home.